Standing Alone
by aneightiesbaby
Summary: High school is over. Everyone is preparing to leave as Ryan thinks back on his time in Newport primarily with one girl. RS


He stood on the pier looking out onto the ocean. The seagulls squawked as the old man sat playing his guitar for money. The end was near. He would leave soon and embark on a new path. This place had become his home. Its beauty, its greed was all a part of him now whether he liked it or not.  
  
His friends—rich socialites who he never expected to claim him. They did. "The Fab five" he always called them. Numerous trials and tribulations tested their strength. Trials of heartache, betrayal, depression, violence, and unforgiving natures—all things that great soaps are made of. He feared their bond would forever be destroyed after he made an unexpected, spontaneous decision. He would be the cause—he and she—his partner in crime. But time heals all wounds. They succeeded in the trials. He would miss them.  
  
And more so, he would miss her.  
  
It had been only half a year since they broke up, but it seemed like a year ago. An acquaintance she was at first--a mere selfish, spoiled girl who once dated his best friend. But slowly, he watched her grow into something more, something he couldn't define. He grew accustomed to seeing her face, her smile, hearing her laugh. He couldn't explain it, nor wanted to. She was a friend, then a lover. He reveled in the chaos that was them in spite of its troubles. That made it troubling. That made it disastrous. That made it beautiful.  
  
This was their place. The Pier. Evening strolls and countless photo sessions in the photo booth marked the days of innocence—the days before the chaos emerged. Neither was aware at the time the emotional journey they would share together. Neither wanted to be aware, he believed.  
  
It took them both by surprise. Neither expected to fall in love, but they did. They couldn't help it. Two people who rarely spoke two complete sentences to one another a year ago had fallen head over heels in love a year later. It was absurd. Still, neither could explain it. They just knew it was real. Its consequences and repercussions not only destroyed a deep bond among their friends, but took the best of them as well, or at least him, he thought. She was always strong, always determined, even in the most inopportune or pessimistic times. He admired that about her. He wished it on himself, but that wish was never granted.  
  
Still life changed as did relationships. Their friends forgave them and their bond was reinforced. But the damage was too much. Their ten month relationship ended. Each embarked on new relationships, but remained a presence in each other's lives. They talked and remained friends, but it never felt the same. The passion, the tenderness, even the intense pain was still there, but it was like a wall built only between them hindering them both from emitting these feelings. He would come to this place, often, and remember. Remember the ice cream debates. Remember the sand castles. Remember the piggy back rides. Remember the way she held his hand after what he perceived as an unforgiving fight. Remember watching the sunset while saying nothing. He still felt the emotions, but knew time changed so much.  
  
Now he would be leaving. They all would. She would. How could he say goodbye? He was terrible with goodbyes.  
  
His mind ventured back to the moment he ended their relationship. Her face was solemn with few tears slowly falling down her face. She said nothing, but he could hear every word. His heart broke again thinking of the pain he caused her. Why did he do it? Insecurities? Fear? He was still unsure. He knew it was the right thing to do, but hurting her was too much. Their relationship established from heartache and ended with heartache—something he vowed to never do. He hated himself for it.  
  
The sun was setting. The old man started counting his money. Ryan had been there for hours, recounting the last three years in this foreign, familiar place. He and Newport shared a love-hate relationship. It saved him, yet it almost destroyed him. In less than a week it would become a memory. Its beauty and greed would remain in his head, but would eventually fade away ceasing to exist.  
  
Would she?  
  
He wasn't sure. She would forever be a part of him, but would time take its course and replace her with another beauty? He had no idea.  
  
Time answered him with two simple words—words that were all too familiar to him.  
  
"Hey Chino."  
  
He turned to see the raven-haired beauty that possessed so many of his thoughts. She took the same position next to him.  
  
"Hey," he answered with a slight smile.  
  
The young woman noticed his curious smile and returned the favor. They each returned to watching the sun set while saying nothing. Ryan knew in this moment she would never be replaced. Were they never to meet again, she would remain as a moment in time when everything was right, in spite of the chaos. 


End file.
